When I look at you, I see wide eyes full of wonder. As a newborn, long before you could talk, your eyes spoke volumes. I’ll never forget how you looked, tiny face peeking out from a swaddled bundle, wide eyes staring up at me. I was terrified, feeling so inadequate to care for you and … Continue reading When I Look at You
Tag: congenital heart defect
The Road Goes Ever On
Nine days after her third heart surgery, our little "Wonder Woman" was discharged from the hospital. We celebrated that night with play time in our apartment and delicious local takeout for dinner, but the real celebration came the next afternoon when we arrived home and the girls were reunited. Watching their sweet hug was the … Continue reading The Road Goes Ever On
Worth It
Hope has her third heart surgery tomorrow. That's not a sentence I ever imagined or wished to write about my child. For quite a while this path that she has to walk was hard for me to accept. I kept dwelling on what her life would have, could have, and should have looked like if … Continue reading Worth It
He Goes Ahead
In March, when the whole coronavirus quarantine began, I decided to take advantage of the extra time with Natalie to read The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis) together. I've lost count of how many times I've read them, but this was the first time with Natalie and it was such a joy to experience them … Continue reading He Goes Ahead
Strawberries in the Rain
It's rainy today. As I sat rocking Hope before her nap, another rainy day came to mind. A day over two years ago now, in June of 2017. Today Hope and I made our weekly trip to the library and grocery store. It might seem like a normal, inconsequential thing to most, but I treasure … Continue reading Strawberries in the Rain
Moments to Treasure
They stand, side by side, at the easel. Footy pajamas, chalk grasped in little hands, colorful scribbles on the board. I peek at them from the kitchen, smiling silently, not wanting to disrupt the sweet sister moment. Eventually I creep in for a quick picture, then sneak back out and leave them to their art. … Continue reading Moments to Treasure
Is He Enough?
Last fall, not long before Hope was born, I lay in bed staring at the full moon outside. I don't remember what was keeping me up, probably some worry over the baby girl with the mixed up heart growing inside me, but I remember a thought suddenly coming to mind. A question really. One that … Continue reading Is He Enough?
Even If
Recently I found the classic VeggieTales movie Rack, Shack and Benny to watch with Natalie for the first time. While I nostalgically sang along with tunes I hadn't heard in years, Natalie anxiously half-covered her eyes with her hands. "I don't want to see the fire," she pleaded. She has learned the real story of … Continue reading Even If
He Knows Me
I thought I knew God. I grew up learning about Him at home, at church, at camps, and through my own study and prayer. I attended a Christian college and was just a handful of credits short of a minor in religion thanks to all the Bible courses I took as electives. I knew my … Continue reading He Knows Me
Our Hope
Our little daughter, Hope Joanna, was born on November 16 at 4:13 am. She weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 19.29 inches long. Hearing her cry when she arrived was such a wonderful sound and seeing her beautiful little face brought such joy. After birth Hope was doing better than expected and I am … Continue reading Our Hope
