Be still, my soul…
I hummed it to Hope as a newborn baby, bundled in my arms, the day before her first heart surgery. I hummed it to her in the ICU last month as she gripped my finger and my heart overflowed with joy at feeling her hold my hand again. And I hum it to her every night at home as she falls asleep, her nightlight projecting blue stars on the ceiling.
Whenever I hum the familiar tune, the unspoken words fill my heart with truths I need to cling to, whether in the midst of the hardest moments or in the sleepy quiet at the end of a good day. They are a beautiful reminder to look to God and rest in His faithfulness, to remember Who is in control of my life and this world, and to hold fast to His promises for the future.
A little over four years ago, when we first found out about Hope’s heart before she was even born, we embarked on a journey I could not have imagined. It has been a journey filled with both sorrow and joy, fear and peace, questions, decisions, answers, and waiting. It’s a journey that changed our lives forever. It’s a journey that continues as long as we walk this earth.
And it’s a journey that has taught me, over and over, to be still, my soul because I know that He faithful will remain.
Hope successfully underwent her biventricular conversion last month. It is truly miraculous to look back on where she started and where she is now. I see God’s hand on her life in every step of the way. The recovery was long, she was intubated 11 days and we were in the hospital almost a month in total, but she has made great progress since being home. I always say that the hug from her big sister is the last, best medicine.
There are still some issues to monitor, mainly her mitral valve which has some stenosis and regurgitation, but it is so wonderful to see her oxygen levels in the 90s and her color looking pinker than ever before. Whatever the future holds for our brave girl, I know God is on her side and He is always faithful.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.