Last fall, not long before Hope was born, I lay in bed staring at the full moon outside. I don't remember what was keeping me up, probably some worry over the baby girl with the mixed up heart growing inside me, but I remember a thought suddenly coming to mind. A question really. One that … Continue reading Is He Enough?
Recently I found the classic VeggieTales movie Rack, Shack and Benny to watch with Natalie for the first time. While I nostalgically sang along with tunes I hadn't heard in years, Natalie anxiously half-covered her eyes with her hands. "I don't want to see the fire," she pleaded. She has learned the real story of … Continue reading Even If
A year ago today we sat in the ultrasound room as a doctor presented us with a choice. Since then I've felt, many times, that I should share this piece of our story, but something always held me back. Even now I'm anxious remembering those moments and considering how to piece together what I want … Continue reading Choose Life
I thought I knew God. I grew up learning about Him at home, at church, at camps, and through my own study and prayer. I attended a Christian college and was just a handful of credits short of a minor in religion thanks to all the Bible courses I took as electives. I knew my … Continue reading He Knows Me
When it comes to Christmas movies, Steve loves It's a Wonderful Life. Me? I prefer my childhood favorites... Charlie Brown, Rudolph, The Grinch. And a dose of feel-good Hallmark movies too. Watching It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve became a tradition for us when we got married, though that tradition has fallen off a … Continue reading Is it a Wonderful Life?
Our little daughter, Hope Joanna, was born on November 16 at 4:13 am. She weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and was 19.29 inches long. Hearing her cry when she arrived was such a wonderful sound and seeing her beautiful little face brought such joy. After birth Hope was doing better than expected and I am … Continue reading Our Hope
November has arrived... due date month. It's strange, if you walked into our house today you'd never guess that we're only a week and a half away from our official due date. It doesn't look much like we're preparing for a baby. The infant car seat is still stashed away in the laundry room closet; … Continue reading Ready or Not…
I stood on the wooden deck looking out over the glassy surface of a now still lake. In the days prior waves had rolled across the surface but this morning it was quiet and calm. Thick icicles lined the docks and the cold air tempted me to hurry back inside, but I stayed put, focused … Continue reading The Struggle with Surrender
Ever since receiving our baby girl's diagnosis, a scene from Lord of the Rings has been replaying in my head. Pippin, a hobbit known more for his curiosity-induced mischief than any sort of bravery or prowess in war, has been made a Guard of the Citadel in Gondor, where the battle for Middle Earth will … Continue reading Waiting on the Edge of Battle
We had our appointment with the pediatric cardiologist today for a fetal echocardiogram (a detailed ultrasound of the heart). We have some more information and potential scenarios moving forward, however there are also some things that cannot be determined yet and most likely won't be able to be fully known until after the baby is … Continue reading A Complicated Little Heart